We hear these words every time we travel by plane, and yet in the moment, if there was such an emergency, it would be ever so challenging NOT to save our child first. As parents, and especially mothers, we are biologically wired to care for the needs of others.
I was watching my favorite show, “This is Us”, after the Super Bowl a couple weeks ago…(spoiler alert if you haven’t seen it yet).
In it, we FINALLY learn after nearly 2 seasons of waiting how the hero father Jack dies…
He returns back into his burning down house, after having already rescued his family, to save his daughters mangy dog.
He actually does manage to save the dog, but dies in the hospital hours later of smoke inhilation, and in that moment we learn how the heartache that has rippled through the family for the next 20 years began.
He lost his life saving a dog because his only instinct was to sacrifice his own wellbeing to prevent his daughters potential heartache.
For hours after the show ended, I thought about how often I sacrifice my own wellbeing for that of my family.
It happens so instinctively that I don’t even think twice.
Sleepless nights, spending extra money on him even when he has more than enough of everything, free time spent doing things that make him happy, cooking, cleaning, washing laundry, carpools, the list is nearly endless…
Then it catches up to me, usually because I feel myself growing short tempered and easily upset over nothing, and I remember: I haven’t done anything nice for myself in days, maybe even weeks or months.
I have learned the hard way that when you put yourself last, you rarely have enough energy to give back to everyone and everything that matters to you. And you end up feeling stressed, frazzled, burned out, resentful and frustrated.
Not only does this impact your relationships, your performance at work and your overall sense of happiness and well-being, it has real impacts on your health.
It’s so easy to “treat yourself” to something that tastes good in the moment, at the end of a long day, even though you know you’ll regret it later. Because you’ll feel bloated, tired, achy and creaky the next day or throughout the week.
After this trip, I felt emotionally empty from shallow conversations, bloated from the all-you-can-eat-everything, tired from sleepless nights and a couple night of drinking and the only nature I experienced was on a huge boat on the ocean. It was a great lesson for me in being much more intentional with the vacations I take because I don’t want to need a vacation following a vacation, but maybe thats just me.
So next time you’re planning a vacation, make sure it includes doing the things that you actually love doing and actually getting to relax and refresh as opposed to just going with whatever the people around you want to do. I’m not sure a family trip to Disney World is any moms idea of a great time beyond seeing the joy it brings to their children. That definitely counts for something, but let that not be the only trip you take this year!
This whole conversation and focus on self care has become a passion of mine, not only because I need my own personal reminders and structure in place to take care of myself, but because I see that MOST women have a poorly-developed self care muscle, especially those caring for young children or aging parents or have very stressful jobs with long hours.
Now that we live in Maui and get to experience the beauty and tranquility of the island everyday, I wanted to create a special getaway retreat geared towards learning and practicing self care, identifying and calming chronic stress, teaching my best techniques for cooking simple and delicious paleo meals and simply getting away to a beautiful island setting. Its called “Personalized Paleo in Paradise” and our first one is scheduled for April 12-17, 2018 and a beautiful beachfront villa on Maui. You can learn more here and apply to join us.
Space is limited to 12 women, so if you want to join us, don’t delay 🙂
Is your self-sacrifice truly of service to your family?
What are the long-term repercussions of putting yourself last?
Remember, self-care is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. You’ve got a ton of responsibilities, and you spend so much time taking care of everyone else.
You prioritize your children, your spouse, extended family, home, and your career and its time to find out where YOU fit in.
Lasting weight loss, reversing chronic conditions or simply FEELING GOOD and having energy requires more than just sticking to the right diet. It’s about learning to take excellent care of yourself–without guilt, stress, or apologies.
I hope you will choose YOU today!
Harnessing 10 years of experience as a private chef to the Southern California elite and a deep understanding of the healing properties of food, Camille is committed to transforming the lives of those she touches by helping them shifting healthcare from the medicine cabinet to the pantry and the doctors office to the garden.